My portion of the the Finale started with a realization that I had left the ladder up the night before. Never one to miss an opportunity, the wolverine struck and scattered all my fish and food. They aren’t huge animals, and they dont eat a ton - but what they do go for is the good stuff…fish bellies, skin, fat. I had a lot of success fishing in mid-late October before the freeze up (having struck out in September). But upon revisiting fishing post-moose and using the meat as bait, I started to catch a bunch. Some of the most fun fishing I have ever done. All in all I caught 11 fish on my pole and 13 in total: 1 greyling, 11 trout, and one northern pike.. Some of them were large - up to 25 lbs - and therefore I wasn’t eating them all but trying to store up for the future months when I knew it would be nearly impossible to fish through thick ice. These are the fish the wolverine pillaged.
After from some delicious R&D for the chocolate industry, my next segment was the highlight of the month for me up to this point. I was trying my hardest to build more and more food reserves, determined to take advantage of what was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and figured if I could get through January I could win - noone would likely last through the extreme cold, dark, and barren month. But that was proving hard, especially with the occasional backwards step of losing food to a wolverine. There were points at which the stress of realizing February was out of reach really nagged at me - and when I accessed my food and fat reserved I would lament the fact that I just didn’t have enough to get there. Being naturally thin I felt pressure not just to produce, but to produce MORE than anyone else to stay even. Not knowing what degree of sustainability others were finding I assumed they were killing it. Honestly, I did not even consider the show to have “started” yet - not even allowing myself to entertain the thought that I was doing well until day 90. However, when I caught the fish - completely oblivious to the fact that I had already won - I finally allowed myself to have the joy of recognizing: “you know what? Im doing pretty well out here!!” No longer would I convince myself that nothing was enough, and assume the worst - I was finally free to now just enjoy the fact that I had 60lbs of fish on had, 200 lbs of moose left, a handful of smoked rabbits, a squirrel, a wolverine, and several cans of rendered fat. Its not that I wasn’t enjoying it before, just that I wasn’t allowing myself to think I was doing well. If I had the thought “Ive been here 70 days” I would immediately counter with “Pshhh - two months? Whats two months?? Big deal, in that short bit of time nothing has even changed back home”.
Perhaps spending years in Russia away from loved ones gave some perspective to the time period I had been gone for…two months is still not a year, and after a year in Russia I would return to America and still be connected to the ones I love. So no big deal…But i still didn’t want to miss Christmas in a month and dreaded the thought.
I heard the Helicopter for the med check, and though I was just a few pounds under my NORMAL weight, I had lost 30 pounds from my beginning weight. Given the fact that I had lost most of that pre-moose, was now keto, and I had since leveled out I was confident I was fine. But I didn’t know if they agreed so I was going to do everything I could to assure them - including offering to share my fish soup hahah.
As I was explaining all this, and because I was so determined to convince them of my vigor, ha, I was completely oblivious to Janahlee walking up behind me…I may of heard her, but just assumed it was a crew member. Then I turned around and…WOW!!! I couldn’t believe it! It hadn’t even occurred to me as a possibility yet - Janahlee was there! Woooowww….unbelievable. I filled her in on the last 77 day’s occurrences and was so excited to show her around a place that I knew she would love! She had spent time with me in Siberia so I knew it would be not only nostalgic, but also another big part of my life that she could now share in more tangibly than just through stories. We ran around, I showed her everything from my meat cache to my skis and big fish… it was a blast! what an amazing episode and what an ending to a wonderful 77 days!!! It was so fun to watch and relive!!
